Feminization, Sissies, etc., What’s the “Why”?
July 22, 2008
I started writing my last post with the intention of talking about some of the sissy audio clips Domina Amanda has done, and then some of my own thoughts about feminization, sissies, fetish behavior relating to it. Or actually, not so much thoughts as questions.
That post turned into an epic, so I moved my rambling over here to a new entry.
Let me state first that everything I’ve written here is me, not me repeating anything Domina Amanda has said. This doesn’t really have anything to do with her. These are only my thoughts.
I’m not into feminization myself, and I’m not saying that to hide a closet attraction. I’m not making fun of the whole sissy boy thing either, but it does seem strange to me. I’m not planning to ridicule it or question its validity at all all, I’m really just wondering about it and those into it.
What makes them interested in this. I know for some its to do with nature, while others a sexual fetish, and perhaps for some it’s a mix of both. I don’t think my thoughts and questions are so much towards the general transgender crowd, I’ll try to explain what I’m thinking.
I suppose I can see why some guys are into dressing like women. Some might be gay or bisexual, others might have a shemale fantasy where they are sorta both (I think the correct word is transgender or transvestite but I‘ve never seen shemale as offensive personally, not that my opinion matters since I‘m not one. Makes me think of those Brazilian shemales that look better than many girls do. Guess when you want something you don‘t take it for granted like some, and work harder at what you desire), while there are those too who are born male but feel much more in common and comfortable with being female (I think that with all the variations nature creates we can‘t say such tendencies are always “choice“. It stands to reason some people would be born this way, just like so many other possibilities). So it might not be the usual thing we are used to, but I can’t say it makes no sense, especially if it makes sense to those doing it.
And I know that not all sissies or cross dressers, or even shemales are homosexual. Many are straight in that while they dress or behave like women, they aren’t attracted to men (though I guess that would make them gay in a sense, just sorta lesbian in a way?). I know I’m probably not phrasing things right or the way its supposed to be said, but it’s a complex issue and I’m not overly familiar with it.
And these people aren’t all sissies. That‘s a separate group under the same general heading. There is a similarity in their appreciation of the female, but to lump all together would be confuse things.
I guess it’s not that cross dresser or transgender seems odd to me. Those who want to be the opposite sex in a way that reflects women in the common way we see them every day. Like dressing and behaving as women really do. That makes sense in a way, because its something we see, and would fit the idea of someone who feels they are of that sex and what that sex really is.
It’s more the extreme or overblown version that is femme but not really female as we usually see it. Like I said I’m not seeking to make fun of it, more wondering what’s the attraction and where does it come from. I mean it’s not even really female its something female-like, so where does the attraction and idea come from.
Like the sissy little girl style thing. Grown men dressing up not so much like women but some kinda caricature of women where they are way overly femme and prissy, or even somewhat childlike in costume form. What is the “why” behind that. Like what’s the turn on and fascination, because I know that those who love this fetish really get into it deeply.
And there is such a range to what all of these people like. Sissy behavior being the common link, but some want it to be forced feminization mixed even with forced bisexual acts and sexual humiliation. While others don’t really get that much into sexual acts at all, being interested entirely with the dressing and behaving, with no intercourse. Just something done for themselves. It seems like it’s a very broad fetish.
And I wonder if the “forced” crowd really should be lumped in with the “choice” people. Like those into forced feminization, if its really the feminization that they are into or more the idea of humiliation, sexual domination and forced femdom activity.
While the ones who choose to be sissies, and get fully into all it entails by choice, if they are really the true “sissy” community, while the others are more BDSM.
I don’t know if there is internal conflict within the sissy community. I’m not trying to be funny, it’s just that within each general group there always seems to be factions that see things differently.
Like, is there conflict between that forced feminization group who seems to like it more femdom, sexual and even humiliating, and then those who are more lifestyle-ish? Do the lifestyle-ish people feel the BDSM types are a mockery of what they are in some way?
Like I keep saying, I’m not trying to insult anyone, so if my phrasing is off, don’t read it that way because that’s not how it’s meant. I’m into things people call “sick” so I’m not gonna start throwing stones at anyone (like femdom cbt).
I know Domina Amanda has written things about both forced feminization and true sissy training, usually from a very sexual viewpoint as would fit a femdom blog. But when talking to actual people she naturally treats each as an individual, beyond just sexual domination and fetish play.
I know her move to San Francisco was partly motivated by a transgender friend she has and works with. She said something once about the only men she truly respects on a level anywhere close to her own are ones born in a man’s body, but with the soul of a female.
(I‘ve noticed also that the shemale references she has made have always been from the stance of domination and shemale dominatrix, like that shemale enforcer she wrote about in one of her BDSM stories. I think she likes their company and sharing slaves with them).
But when I’ve asked her things like this she tends to say the best people to ask are people who are this themselves. They deserve the respect of being allowed to explain how they feel, if they want to, without anyone outside trying to define or limit them, no matter what the intention. Just be open minded and remember that there are always people who will think what you are into is just as weird as what you might think they are.
She gets hostile around negativity towards this subject because I think she has a transsexual friend who was hurt in some way, but that‘s none of my business. It‘s just a guess off of reactions I‘ve seen her have to idiots in some chat rooms.
Well, anyway, that’s what I was thinking about today and I wrote it all off the top of my head as I am sure you can tell. I’ll probably have a bunch of people telling me what I’ve said isn’t “correct” but that’s fine. I’m not trying to define anything, just wondering so people saying constructive things isn’t a problem.
And the title to this post – In no way do I expect to find a single “why” out there, nor do I think there is one. People have all different reasons and personalities.
- maleslave
Domina Amanda – life outside the femdom BDSM dungeon
July 3, 2008
During the years that Domina Amanda worked as a professional dominatrix in NYC, she lived primarily in Manhattan, having her own apartment separate from the femdom dungeon she owned, and any other BDSM establishments she may have graced with her presence. While very open and blunt about her sexual life and femdom experiences, she naturally retains a high degree of privacy when it comes to personal information regarding family, friends, slaves and home. This is extended not only to her private relationships, but also her professional activities when it comes to the identities of her slave clients (excepting in cases where the slave begs for public femdom displays, and exposure or threat of exposure).
Working mostly by night in the femdom BDSM scene, she also attended a local university, taking classes there in pursuit of a degree in Biochemistry. While the choice of major may seem surprising to those of ignorant assumptions, Domina Amanda is known to be extremely intelligent and very well read – two characteristics which clearly fit her naturally dominant personality. Philosophy, Politics and Dietetics are other subjects she has studied extensively and continues to examine. Obviously also, she possesses a wealth of knowledge regarding topics such as femdom BDSM, sexual domination, and more importantly, the dynamics of dominant and submissive personalities beyond just sexual situations.
Her primary hobbies mirror her professional femdom life, as obviously does her sexuality. Her life as a dominatrix blends her interests and responsibilities perfectly, allowing her to enjoy what she most loves to do, while also providing a fitting and lucrative occupation. Even when not working as a professional dominatrix, her livelihood has almost always involved BDSM and female domination in some clear way, so she has continually been fortunate enough to blend business with what is most pleasurable to her. Personal slave ownership is something she has practiced since her teenage years, with her usually possessing multiple slaves. Since her late teens she has continuously held property, acquiring, dismissing, trading and selling as has pleased her.
Domina Amanda doesn’t watch much television, and only occasionally has time enough for movies. Her sex life occupies most of her time and she enjoys it thoroughly. As she has said in past interviews – “I don’t dream about what I wish my life could be… I simply do whatever it is that comes to my mind. My fantasies I make reality, and where there are limits I have to respect, I push as close to the edge as I can. I have no need to entertain myself by watching the lives of others, my own life is far more exciting than anything on television ~laughs~.” Those fantasies that are too extreme or unrealistic for her to enjoy fully in real life, she finds other outlets for (one example can be found in the giantess stories she has written – “Giantess, The Huntress”, which while being obvious femdom fantasy, can still be explored through writing and phone domination).
While working primarily out of her own private femdom dungeon, and still occasionally at that of her dominatrix friend’s (you can read more about how they met here - Tease and Denial, Goddess), Domina Amanda also made numerous guest appearances at local and regional area professional BDSM houses. She did the same on the West Coast, particularly in conjunction with special femdom events, fetish parties and BDSM festivals she was scheduled to attend. Some of the contacts she made while in California have subsequently led to other BDSM orientated business ventures she continues to be involved with today (which eventually led to her move from NYC).
- maleslave
Domina Amanda – cruel femdom BDSM desires
June 24, 2008
And so with the support of the dominatrix friend she had long worked for, Domina Amanda set out to open her own femdom dungeon in NYC. A BDSM house that she would preside over, served by her personal slaves, and worshipped by those seeking the blessing of an audience.
It was here, in this new dungeon, that the “demoness” which had long been acknowledged within Domina Amanda, had the opportunity to design a femdom BDSM atmosphere that fit her dark desires and cruel tastes. Never intended as anything more than her personal domain, the dungeon wasn’t created with commercial BDSM concerns in mind, but rather to indulge her love of female domination in the form of her own kind of sadistic perversion.
Stories told of this place hint at a shadowy enclosure, presenting a series of rooms each more ominous than the last. Chambers dedicated to specific fetishes within the realm of BDSM – a pink room for sissy boys to experience the feminization they longed for, a vault for extreme forms of bondage and captivity, a cold metal and glass cell for cruel femdom interrogation and deep probing medical exams. Also, a small box set into one wall. Soundproofed, encased in metal and wood, and of a size barely able to hold a man – an oubliette that a slave could be sealed in, with the door locking into the wall so seamlessly that an outsider would not even know it was there. “A place to be forgotten,” the slave literally left sealed into the wall for as long as the dark dominatrix desired.
The final compartment was the largest, designed in compliment to her love of long, single tail whips. Rectangular in shape, with the windows heavily covered, the walls of this last room were lined with an assortment of hand crafted whips and other similar creations and instruments, almost all of the leather that she prefers. At one end of the room, a St. Andrew’s Cross. At the other, a wood and leather horse. And in the center of the room, a set of chains hanging from a support beam suitable for suspension. It is here that she is said to have spent most of her time in femdom session. Some say that at times she even slept here amongst her beloved whips.
As a dominatrix, her tastes in BDSM are known to be many and varied, but all focused on the dominant role which is her absolute. The whip is a beloved specialty of hers, and her talents with this instrument were often featured at femdom parties and fetish appearances. This personal femdom dungeon, served well as a place for her to further hone and develop her natural skill with this instrument of cruel pleasure. It also took her to another level in professional female domination, while obviously furthering her exploration of her own personality and sexuality.
(Domina Amanda has also written a femdom fantasy detailing a more extreme, nightmare realm she dreams of ruling over – BDSM Stories.)
- maleslave
done to me. To me, what’s down there seems too fragile, and yet I have witnessed seriously 
