Thinking More About Feminization and Its Complexity

I wrote a post a couple months back about feminization, asking what the attraction is to it. Not a question asked in a negative tone, or me trying to say there is something wrong with it, or that I can’t see why anyone would be into it. I asked because I can imagine that the reasons are very diverse, covering not just guys into feminization in the sense of wanting to be female, but also those who want to be forced into it as more a masochistic turn on.

I think it’s obviously a complex subject, but also one where there is some conflict. For some, the attraction to feminization is liberating, nothing negative at all about it, but rather something very positive that’s longed for and healthy. While for others the attraction is rooted in masochism, with forced feminization, crossdressing and forced bisexuality feeding a sexual want to be abused and embarrassed. Something negative in the sense that the forced act is perceived as something shameful, but not at all negative in the end since it brings intense sexual enjoyment.

The contrast between the two I would think somewhat insulting to those who see feminization as a release from being trapped in a body they don’t feel is right for them. The idea that someone else engages in a mock version of what you are, and for what matter what you love, because they see it as disgustingly shameful and actually get sexually excited over that idea… I’m sure cross dressers, sissies and those actually going through feminization have learned to grow a thick skin, but still. I don’t think anyone would like the idea of even a beloved hobby, let alone a lifestyle, being seen as a bad joke to be engaged in only for the enjoyment of male humiliation.

Personally, I’m not into feminization. I don’t see myself as a girl inside and I have no desire to dress or act like one. I’m not attracted to guys either… though I’m sure my dwelling on this subject will make some wonder if I’m in some sort of denial LOL. It’s not that.

As a submissive male, I can understand the powerful effect of something like forced bi. Add to it forced feminization, and while dressing like a girl might not itself turn on the slave, the effect of being so “owned” by another person that she can transform you not just from free to property, but from male to female, is very powerful.

I have to say that being made to dress like a woman – really any degree of forced feminization – would be extremely humiliating to me. I mean that as no offense to the sissy crowd, it’s just that I am a man. A sissy sees himself as herself; not a man but a woman, so there is nothing humiliating there and that is “her” choice. I don’t see myself that way, but as someone experiencing male slave training, being so transformed would have a tremendous psychological effect. Female domination of a whole other kind, providing a deeper sense of objectification and loss of individuality through both embarrassment and replacement of identity with that chosen by another. Add forced bi to the feminization and the “dress” becomes more than just a surface coating but something extremely real. Being forced to be the “girl” in a bisexual act with another man, or a dominant woman armed with a strapon, is a level of vulnerability and submission men normally never face in sex.

Not done with this yet, I’ll post more later -

BTW, here’s a link to a Free Feminization Audio that Domina Amanda recorded.

- maleslave

Domina Amanda – From NYC To San Francisco

Domina Amanda’s move to the San Francisco Bay Area is said to have been influenced by a mix of her want to continue her collegiate studies there on the grad level, her new BDSM business commitments with people living in the area (she is part owner in a major scene related website), and her want to spend some time in another part of the country. San Francisco also held the added attraction of having its own strong femdom BDSM scene, something she first experienced in that city’s form during past visits to participate in the Folsom Street Fair. She has said that she intends to move back to NYC in the future, but her current commitments require her to stay at least the rest of this year in California.

She is not currently working as a dominatrix (in the sense of owning or working for a prefessional femdom dungeon), since her time in grad school and at work occupies much of her time. But she’s still deeply involved with the BDSM community, having a number of personal slaves that live locally and one bisexual puppy girl that is with her at all times – “it’s only proper for the superior female to be surrounded by those meant to serve her… and it’s only natural for the dominant female to do what she was born to – dominate. Just as it’s only natural for the masses to do what they were born to – be my slaves ~laughs~.”

At the invitation of a friend, she recently began doing femdom phone sex again as a further outlet for her own sexual fantasies and compulsions. Her strong sex drive and uninhibited approach to enjoying it is part of why she thinks she could never live in the country, as much as she thinks it’s nice there. Diversity of people and sexual outlets are a must for her, and she has the constant drive to meet and “explore” new “possibilities” (“possibilities” being what she calls other human beings that she chooses to explore through sexual domination). “There are all different kinds of people out there… it isn’t that some are good and some bad… it’s just a matter of figuring out how best you can use them for your own pleasure. Bad people are only bad because they are in need of someone to put them in their place. No slave is worthless, you just have to know how to exploit them in a way that makes them worthwhile to you ~grinz~.”

Domination phone sex is something she has been involved with in the past, and it was her great knowledge and notoriety in the BDSM community that led to her being offered a job as a private contractor with the company she now works with. Due to the depth of her real life experiences, she has quickly grown to be one of the most popular Mistresses involved there, and one of the top sexual domination operators.

Domina Amanda sees domination phone sex as an interesting variation on the real face-to-face thing. The primary attraction for her is the nature of the medium and possible content. The nature of the medium – world wide phone network – allows an incredible variety of callers from all over the planet, and a near endless source of new people to “violate and corrupt”. In terms of content, since domination phone sex is largely fetish fantasy, the possibilities can go further into the extreme, not just what is being done, but where and how. Cruel femdom torture sessions on the phone can be held to realistic limits, or founded in completely fanciful stories that would be impossible to do in real life. Whatever the case, the medium presents its own set of options for sexual domination that she feels any dominatrix would at the very least find interesting.

She is also writing an online diary where she shares her experiences and opinions on BDSM and female domination. These experiences are often related through the telling of femdom stories taken from things she has done in her life. Not really written in a true story form, they are more glimpses into her cruel mind, shared in a very conversational style (though she has written some fictional femdom stories too, like her giantess tales and those of her alter-ego – Demoness Amanda, BDSM stories).

- maleslave

Domina Amanda – cruel femdom of her own dark design

As I mentioned in my previous post, Domina Amanda worked for almost three years in the private NYC femdom dungeon of her dominatrix friend, first as an apprentice, but quickly as an accomplished and respected dominatrix in her own right. While she very much enjoyed her time there, and was extremely close to her friend and employer on both a professional and personal level, after so long a time in one place, she decided to set out on her own.

With the blessing and backing of her friend, she decided to open her own, small private dungeon, dedicated to her further exploration of femdom BDSM. Not a large house, or even a private dungeon like the one she had previously worked for, which though not as large as the more public facilities, still had a regular dominatrix staff (of about half a dozen in this case), but instead a smaller place that would cater only to her whim, with her the single dominatrix presiding over the entire dungeon. The only others there would be three personal slaves, one female and two male, that she owned at the time.

(What I have been told of these three slaves – One was a sissy maid. Domina Amanda has a preference for well trained sissy maids and the specific duties they are suited for. Over the years she has constantly kept at least one in her service. The next was a very well built bisexual male sex slave that served a variety of purposes within the dungeon, including that of a bodyguard. He also lived there. The last was a female sex slave that was a pet to Domina Amanda at the time. She was the personal slave companion of the dominatrix and often assisted her in femdom sessions. She was also extremely devoted to the fetish of ass worship and eagerly displayed her respect for her owner through it.)

Often when such a transition occurs in the professional BDSM community, they are the result of a conflict arising between dominant personalities, with the ensuing struggle leading either to dismissal, or a fracturing within the femdom dungeon, with a portion going off to found their own. From what has been said by Domina Amanda, there was no falling out or breakup between the dominatrix pair, and they are still close now, with their friendship and attraction to one another remaining essentially unchanged (her dominatrix friend is a lesbian, though female domination is something she enjoys with both sexes). Domina Amanda simply wished to have her own femdom dungeon, a place that would be a reflection of her personality and ideas, and her friend not only understood this, but encouraged it. Besides also, dominant personalities, by their nature, have a want to build and rule their own homes.

- maleslave

Domina Amanda – lifestyle and professional dominatrix

Domina Amanda continued to work for almost three years in her dominatrix friend’s private femdom dungeon in NYC. It was, and continues to be, an exclusive house, open only to a select clientele of great means and manners. Intended only for those most seriously devoted to femdom BDSM, the quality of the establishment is easily reflected in both its denizens and décor, besides most obviously, the exceptional ladies who staff it to this day.

During these years, Domina Amanda not only worked as a primary member of the small staff at this femdom house, but she was also very involved in the local BDSM scene. The exact number of different slaves she was involved with outside of her professional dominatrix activities, is unknown. She has spoken of numerous different slaves she has held personally in the past, both male and female. Some that she kept for a time before giving away or “selling”, and others she simply trained for her own amusement or enjoyed for the moment. There is no telling how many she has rejected.

Domina Amanda has also trained a number of “switches” seeking to learn more of the technical side of sexual domination and BDSM. In these cases she has usually required they submit to her fully as slaves before she would teach them anything. Her reason for doing this isn’t any belief in the idea that before one can be a “dominant” they must be a slave – as a true dominant herself she finds that concept to be both ridiculous and offensive. She simply treats those who play at BDSM differently from those more lifestyle orientated, and enjoys giving them a true introduction to the subject of female domination, not just the sexual side of femdom BDSM that they are more used to.

She has also found that most of those claiming to be “switches” who are willing to commit to this level, in reality have always been searching for slavery, with the idea of “switch” only being a sort of security blanket, and their request for training really being more of a cloaked desire to submit to female domination in the first place. On more than one occasion she has introduced a “switch” to the truer slavery that they were really seeking all along, leading that person to a new place in life through a deeper exposure to femdom.

While Domina Amanda sees a clear line of difference between the “true dominant personality” (she has written extensively on this subject in her Femdom Diary), and sexual domination or BDSM role-playing, she doesn’t object to the latter so long as those participating are honest with themselves and keep proper perspective regarding the difference between being truly dominant (born to it), and playing the role of dominant with flogger in hand.

- maleslave

Domina Amanda – dominatrix in a private femdom dungeon

It was at this time – in her late teen years when she was getting more active in BDSM and going out more frequently to BDSM clubs – that Domina Amanda became close friends with a professional dominatrix who was working out of her own private femdom dungeon in Manhattan. Acquaintance grew quickly into friendship as the two began spending more time with one another, both publicly in the NYC femdom scene, and privately. Domina Amanda has stated their relationship was in part sexual, but that no roles of domination and submission were drawn between them, though they did at times include one or more submissive partners. Respect was something the two had for one another right away, but they were never girlfriends – the lesbian sex they had was simply them enjoying their friendship in another way (Domina Amanda was also involved with multiple male and female sex slaves then, much the same as she is now).

While truly dominant women can at times come into conflict (strong personalities have a tendency to eventually clash), these two fit well together, and only became closer for their shared views. So much so that an apprenticeship at her femdom dungeon was offered to Domina Amanda by her more experienced dominatrix companion (her age seems to be between five and ten years older than that of Domina Amanda), which was accepted.

The two stayed together for well over two years after that, Domina Amanda working in her mentor’s femdom dungeon as an apprentice and then full dominatrix, building her own substantial following in the process (Domina has already told some femdom stories about this time period on her website). Female domination and male submission (along with that of submissive lesbian and bisexual females), is and has always been something Domina Amanda has taken for granted, carrying herself in a way that clearly reflects this. Having been given the right outlet and connections within the NYC BDSM community, her natural tendencies had the freedom to grow, and fully explore the fetish possibilities femdom offers.

Her presence in the local BDSM community grew greatly during these years, though in keeping with her personality, she was far less flamboyant than is typical of a dominatrix who gains a great degree of notoriety quickly. This, if anything, only solidified the respect she was held in, and opened more doors to her since the quiet confidence (if at times accented by a cocky, sarcastic attitude) and solid self-assurance she epitomizes, is something appreciated by most true dominants.

- maleslave

Domina Amanda – discovering female domination and BDSM

Even during her earliest sexual experiences with other girls, BDSM played a part in Domina Amanda’s sexuality. For just over ten years now, she has been interested and involved in various forms of femdom BDSM. Starting with simple things – first lesbian sex with her taking the dominant role, then the inclusion of degrees of clear female domination and bondage, on to more sadistic forms of femdom play when she began experimenting with boys – this interest grew from something she enjoyed with partners who shared her tastes (and often ones introduced to them by her)… to active participation in the NYC BDSM community by her late teens.

From the start she embraced the dominant role in her sex life, taking control of her partners in the bedroom or demanding their deference to her will before engaging in any sexual acts. Seen more as fun play when her sexuality first began to awaken, she didn’t hesitate to embrace the inclinations she had, both in terms of her bisexuality, and her enjoyment of femdom style sexual activities. Experimentation, lack of inhibition, a perversely creative mind and growing exposure to BDSM quickly fed her impulses and opened doors to their further exploration.

Domina Amanda says that at first this (female domination) was nothing she thought out, but just something she did, something that felt right and ran its own course (both in a sexual sense and in how she behaved in general towards other people at all times). She never thought twice about her behavior, deciding that if it felt right to her, then it was right for her, and that only her opinion on the matter was important.

Later when she was first with boys, her understanding of her sexual inclinations grew even more – in terms of true BDSM play and femdom structures. Her interest in them at first was more curiosity, and her sense of female superiority had already shown itself in how she had treated them throughout the years of her early education (she admits to being something of a bully). When experimenting with them sexually, she set demands on those she chose to enjoy which they had to obey if they wanted to be with her – her then using then to whatever degree she wanted, if at all. Bondage was something she required of girls before, but it was here, with boys, that she really began to develop and refine her interest in femdom and associated sexual acts collected under BDSM, particularly sadism.

By her late teens Domina Amanda had started going to BDSM clubs and began participating in femdom scenes both publicly and privately. Her own exhibitionist tendencies lead to many displays of public femdom performances at this time, which brought her the attention of some more serious people in the local BDSM community, including some within the lesbian dominatrix circle. Invitations to private female domination parties followed, along with relationships with more serious submissives of both sexes, sometimes multiple male and female slaves held in bondage and chastity at the same time by her personally.

- maleslave

Domina Amanda – a beautiful young bisexual dominatrix

Now that the opening blog post is done with, I thought I’d continue this male slave offering by saying a little about the lovely young lady this is dedicated to. Most of what I write here (and in the next few posts) can be read in much greater detail on her own blog – Femdom Diary of Domina Amanda, but I’ll try provide a summary here, including little bits of additional information I know to be true (nothing on this site is written without her permission and approval – I will not post rumor).

Domina Amanda is a 25 year old bisexual dominatrix originally from Manhattan, New York who is currently living just outside San Francisco. She is deeply involved in BDSM on both a professional and personal level, meaning that while she has worked as a professional dominatrix conducting femdom sessions with select male slave clients, this subject is also a central part of her private life. For her, female domination isn’t a role taken, but a lifestyle, with BDSM simply being one way for her to enjoy who she is. Confident, intelligent and confrontational, she is a true dominant personality and a clear example of female superiority in its most undeniable and desirable form.

As you can see by her picture she is very beautiful, but she is also very tall for a woman – 5′ 10″ barefoot. She has long, solid black hair that is thick and perfectly straight. Her body is thin and firm, graceful and athletic – she loves to dance both for fun and exercise, and has trained for many years in a variety of styles.

Her wardrobe displays her partiality for femdom fetish clothing and styles influenced by this form – corsets, tight dresses, large belts, leather & latex, skirts, stockings, high heels, gloves and boots are only a hint of the temptation to be found. This isn’t her dominatrix collection, or what she wears strictly for femdom sessions or BDSM events. Domina Amanda’s daily dress reflects her personality both inside and outside of the dungeon. Like I said, female domination and superiority are who this woman is.

Her eyes are hazel and piercing, seductive but with an intimidating effect, which when taken with her personality and femdom sexual desires, are part of why friends call her “the Demoness” or “Dark Seductress”.

- maleslave